I used the term prepared, not that ANY knowledge can allow for that to happen, but before my injury, I was completely clueless. I think that whatever light can be, should be made possible. As I injured MY BRAIN, I honestly figured that I would never find it tolerable that I could accept that fact that my intelligence was less, but especially knowing how comparably fortunate I am to others with similar injuries, I can tolerate it. In addition, after a month-long coma, I woke to discover that my impairments WERE SO NUMEROUS, and my achievements prior to my injury were so solid, that losing some IQ points was fairly tolerable. I use an electronic scooter when I leave my house, I have soft, slurred, often incoherent speech, my handwriting is beyond difficult to decipher, my limbs shake if I'm performing most tasks, my optical nerve was torn in half, leaving me with double-vision...My list of losses seems exhausting but they is MY responsibility. My family and I have spent over twenty-four years learning and dealing with these things, so I neither expect a cure or for anyone else to immediately understand. Most of your actions and issues are not going progress sequentially, orderly, specifically, or make perfect sense. However, with abundant fortitude, everything WILL get done. Perhaps not in the way others accomplish tasks, but, screw it if your judged. You gotta live your life.
Here's the deal and this may be the most essential thing to relay. LIFE IS BY NO MEANS FAIR. It's just not. Innocent babies starve. People all over the world get sick for curable diseases. Your pilot might just crash the airplane carrying you because he's having a bad day. Things happen to human beings which just aren't fair. It's not to say that I'm sorry and I KNOW that most of the people who you know are sorry too! There is little they can do to alter the facts though. If someone or something is at fault, there's a chance that there will be something or somewhere at which to direct your anger and that may soothe you for awhile but it won't ever change the situation. Of course, a good consequence of having money is that life can be easier and that stress is minimized, but, please understand that the basic facts will not change...you will still be injured and if you're harmed like I was, this will be an irreversible fact of life until you die.
This all sounds depressing and I'm sorry to be the individual to deliver this message. At the same time, I don't mind giving you my conviction that all of this happened to you because it was determined that you could handle this. That's right, my friend...you got this. I'm unconvinced that "everything happens for a reason" or that we are somehow in control of our own destiny. Those concepts seem pretty cruel and I, myself, know far too many innocents who had nothing to do with the fates they were dealt. However, as one who spent a month in a coma, who has been in this culture for twenty-four years (just had my anniversary), and who would never take the time to feed you a line, I feel the duty to inform you of the world you've entered and that you CAN do this.
As the poverty rate of this population is understandably high (as it is hard or impossible for many of us to be competitively employed) according to the U.S. Census is about 80 percent. The good news is that you are an American and are afforded certain rights. In 1991, the Americans with Disabilities Act was made law. Though it cannot dismiss the blatant and subtle discrimination which Americans with disabilities face daily, but it's goal. Of course, the laws under which we live rarely translate into an immediate change is the general sense of bias or mass opinion, but prejudices and assumptions DO change with time. Also, there are going to be many good people whom will have your back and hold your flashlight on this journey. As you have changed bodies, those who you call friends will probably alter. This fact is often painful to accept but "it's not fair." Remember?
Before going, there is one other thing you need to remember. Take your medication! Obviously, something is amiss in your biology and medications (meds) work to stabilize. Meds can not only mentally and emotionally work toward our well-beings, but physical changes can occur...honestly.
Especially at those times when you feel healthy, resilient and capable, remember to pop the pill that made you feel that way. As someone who has her masters degree in rehabilitation counseling and who worked at the St. Louis Psychiatric Rehabilitation Institute, I have witnessed the wonder of meds. At the institute, eighty percent of our clients were determined to be not guilty by reason of insanity. Some had conditions which decreased their inhibitions and other law-abiding behavior but the majority (eighty percent) were mentally disabled and were determined to to Not Guilty for Reasons of Insanity (N.G. R. I.). For one of a multiple number of reasons, these folks had stopped taking the medications which kept them sane and stopped them from pursuing illegal acts. Because authorities had placed those folks into an institution (prison) where their diagnosis was discovered and the taking of their medication was monitored, these people were determined "not guilty." However, these folks were still locked-up and were not allowed most of the freedoms that the rest of Americans enjoy. Take your meds!
Please remember, I am on the side of persons who have acquired disabilities...not your parents, social worker's, Department of Human Services' director's, or best friend's. Those may all be lovely people who are looking out for you and it would be nice if this essay somehow makes life easier for them, but, no, I'm speaking directly to you.
Especially at those times when you feel healthy, resilient and capable, remember to pop the pill that made you feel that way. As someone who has her masters degree in rehabilitation counseling and who worked at the St. Louis Psychiatric Rehabilitation Institute, I have witnessed the wonder of meds. At the institute, eighty percent of our clients were determined to be not guilty by reason of insanity. Some had conditions which decreased their inhibitions and other law-abiding behavior but the majority (eighty percent) were mentally disabled and were determined to to Not Guilty for Reasons of Insanity (N.G. R. I.). For one of a multiple number of reasons, these folks had stopped taking the medications which kept them sane and stopped them from pursuing illegal acts. Because authorities had placed those folks into an institution (prison) where their diagnosis was discovered and the taking of their medication was monitored, these people were determined "not guilty." However, these folks were still locked-up and were not allowed most of the freedoms that the rest of Americans enjoy. Take your meds!
Please remember, I am on the side of persons who have acquired disabilities...not your parents, social worker's, Department of Human Services' director's, or best friend's. Those may all be lovely people who are looking out for you and it would be nice if this essay somehow makes life easier for them, but, no, I'm speaking directly to you.
